The Way of the Word

24. October 2011

Is This World Protected?

“Is this world protected?”

Yes, Doctor, it is. But who protects it? Why, Rory Williams, of course, the Last Centurion.

Would you like him to repeat the question?


2. October 2011

Rory Williams Levels Up In Badass

Just when we thought that Rory Williams couldn’t get any more badass…
… he does.

23. August 2011

RIP Loriot

Born November 12, 1923, as Bernhard Victor Christoph-Carl von Bülow (short: Vicco) in Brandenburg an der Havel; died August 22, 2011 in Ammerland.

Vicco von Bülow was born in 1923 as the son of a Major of the police. Actually, the von Bülows were old German nobility who can trace their line back until 1154. After the divorce of his parents, he and his younger brother lived with their grandparents, until the father remarried in 1932. After graduating school, he followed his father’s advice and studied art in Hamburg. Upon graduation, he worked as a graphics designer, and became a cartoonist in 1950. At this time, he chose the pen name of Loriot. His success as a cartoonist took some time, it wasn’t until 1954 that his work was collected in book form.

His breakthrough was when he started to present the TV show Cartoon in 1967. While his presentation was originally completely serious and straight, it eventually developed into one of the show’s comedic highlights. He also started to produce his own animated shorts for this German TV program. After designing the mascot for a German charity (the dog Wum), he got his own TV show in the 1970s. The short films from this program are still being re-run on German TV. One of the various activities he pursued during his career was conducting opera.

He officially retired from TV in 2006, giving the reason that the medium had become so short-lived that it was no longer possible to produce quality comedy for it.

It’s possible but exhausting to list the awards he won during his career.

So, what can I add to everything that is being said about Vicco von Bülow now that he’s dead? Basically, as someone who grew up laughing at his jokes, I can confidently state that Germany is no longer funny. The funniest German ever has left us. At least we can always look back on his jokes.

28. May 2011

Awesome Ideas That Will Never Be

Okay, if the right chain of unlikely coincidences should happen, this one has a very slim chance of not being completely impossible. If someone who knows Cassandra Peterson happens to see this and likes it and points it out to her and she likes it…

But, yeah: awesome idea that will never be.

I like Elvira (Cassandra Peterson). The character is funny, bizarre, over the top, sexy and, well, funny. I own her first movie, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, on DVD. I’ve seen the second one, Elvira’s Haunted Hills, but I don’t like it nearly as much as the first. The reason is simple: Elvira is an over-the-top comedic character. But unlike the first movie, where Elvira began as the odd woman out and the situation became progressively more bizarre, the second movie had a scenario where everyone was so bizarre that Elvira fit right in.

A good Elvira movie needs to quote heavily from the horror genre, and it has to have Elvira as someone who stands out like the proverbial sore thumb. If everyone is as bizarre as she, then it’s overkill.

So what can we do to make a good and fun Elvira movie? It’s really quite simple:

Elvira Knows Why You Screamed on Friday the 13th.

Let’s quote heavily from the slasher genre, with some liberal sprinkling of Evil Dead and The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

A busload of teenagers, returning home from a sports event (or going to a sports event) finds themselves trapped on a small islet. They had only planned to pass through, but a flash flood tore down both bridges, effectively isolating them. There is only one house on the islet, a mansion actually, so the teenagers turn there for help.

The only person in there is Elvira, who, being her normal friendly and helpful self, offers the kids shelter. But something is weird about the entire set-up. Curious as teenagers are, they discover that Elvira is engaged in some strange magickal rituals that might involve the Necronomicon.

As soon as they discover that, they start dying. Since Elvira is the odd woman out, they of course immediately suspect her as the Slasher, and try to kill her in return. Which doesn’t work, but plays a part in establishing that Elvira is not the killer. As the outsider looking in, her help does turn out to be instrumental in uncovering the real killer. And about the magickal experiments she performs in her basement? Yes, it is the Necronomicon, but she’s not trying to call up demons. She’s trying to materialize Bruce Campbell.

At the end of the night, the bridges are being repaired, so the surivors can look forward to continuing on their trip. But what about Elvira? Will she get lucky? Will her summoning of Bruce Campbell succeed? Only his agent knows for sure…

8. January 2010

Fanfic Writer Leaks Twilight: Eclipse Story

Filed under: Humor — jensaltmann @ 09:53
Tags: , , ,

While half the Twilight fandom is abuzz over the leaked early draft of the screenplay to the third installment of the mega-popular Twilight series of movies, the producers of the series face a far more serious problem.

This problem is in the shape of fanfic writer Stephenie Meyer, who is arguably the biggest Twilight fan ever.

“We don’t know how she does it,” a producer who requested anonymity told us. “But somehow, she manages to get early drafts of the screenplays long before we even distribute them to the cast.”

Meyer then takes the screenplays and writes a novelization.

“That’s the one good thing about this,” the producer admitted. “She adds so much of her own stuff to our story that the fans have no idea which parts are actually in the movie, and which parts she filled in.”

The success of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight fan-fiction indicates, however, that the fans want to have spoilers.

“That’s the one thing about fans,” a source close to Meyer said. “They are all indignant about having something spoiled, and yet they hunger for these spoilers. That’s why they jump on Stephenie’s Twilight fanfic. There are thousands, perhaps millions of readers who don’t want to wait for the next movie. They want to know right now what happens next.”

“The people from Summit Entertainment have been after me to tell them where I get the scripts,” Meyer admits. “But I’m not telling them. I’m protecting my sources, just like a reporter would.” Then she proudly shows us her recently finished project, a 600 page novel that she based on the screenplay for the fourth installment of the blockbuster series. “I believe even the producers haven’t seen this one yet,” she declares.

And what is next on the plate for this prolific Twilight fan-ficcer? “I’m revisiting the original movie. There are so many wonderful characters, so I’m going to do what the movies can’t and will revisit all of them and tell their stories. I just love this series and the characters, and I want to share how I see them with all the other fans.”

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